It's important to understand how a woman undermines the ability of a man to walk away from a bad situation, in order to prevent falling into a bad situation by degrees.
you shouldn't tell her unless directly questioned, ”busy” includes seeing other women. If you have a number of pearls on a string, it is perfectly OK to say upfront that "busy" means you are unavailable with another girl unless she is into threesomes. Women will work the hardest here and enjoy your company the most, but will wander off with a guy who seems like he might marry her.
2). After she is seeing you often and regularly, she will want to be exclusive. This isn't that bad for a man but can cause problems because the skills you use to get other women become rusty (that's part of the point). At this stage, women will do tons of things to try and make you dependent on her. The sex is still good but the focus shifts on her trying to make you emotionally dependant on her. If you let things slip to this point, you basically have a limited time before she dumps you if you won't "commit". Understand that she is 100% seeing other guys behind your back though, if you are formally her boyfriend or not. "Commitment" is always a one way street, 100% of the time. The only thing that will force her to actually be exclusive with you is if she can't get anyone else (you should never be with a girl like that because she will secretly despise you for it).
”living together” type of situation. She will constantly leave stuff over at your place and change things around to suit her taste. She will bring it up again and again and is likely to manufacture a situation where she becomes homeless and needs to move in with you. Expect ultimatums. Expect fights. Expect downright obsessive behavior, especially if you are "cheating" on her. The good news is she will be much less likely to fuck other guys if she is living with you (if she does, it means she is either insane or about to dump you). The bad news is it will be incredibly difficult to get rid of her and she will literally rip your life up by the roots once she gets tired of waiting for marriage and leaves. This is the absolute last stand for a guy. If you screw up here, you will have a tough time of it.
4). When you live together, depending on the woman and how old you two are, comes the constant nagging for an engagement ring. It begins with attempted brain washing and dissolves into fighting if you resist. If you ever flat out tell her you won't marry her, ever, for any reason, she will burn your life and leave. However, she can and will cheat on you without a second thought. "Commitment" is always a one way street. If you catch her, she will beg for forgiveness and try to bend the situation into a marriage proposal, or burn your life and leave. The older you two are, the shorter this time period. If you meet a girl in college (cough) it can last a rollercoaster ride, a decade long. If you meet her when you are 30, expect demands for marriage within 6 months. If she is 35, the demands will be angry and psychotic. However, she can and usually will, leave without a second thought. It will be as if you two were never together. This last is probably the most important reason to never get married. It's a scam. Your lover never bothered to develop deep feelings for you even though she has done everything in her power to make you have them for her. You must be very, very careful here because most girls will attempt to get pregnant to try and force you into marrying them. If you say no, they will either get an abortion or seek child support from you. Note that a significant portion of the time (perhaps as high as 30%, by some estimates) the child isn't yours. This is a purposeful response to careful birth control efforts on your part. Always make sure you know if she leaves and has a bun in the oven. Always get a DNA test. Be knowledgeable of wacko laws regarding this, especially if you live in a granola state (managed by nuts, fruits and flakes) like New York or California.
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5). After the engagement immediately comes the specific dates and wedding plans, etc. Things are good but you have this nagging feeling that she actually hates your guts and plans to crucify you the second you get back from the honeymoon. Trust your instincts. If you push the wedding date back too much, she will likely fuck someone else and dump you... unless you have tons of cash that is. Then she will fuck someone else and you will never ever know. You can still leave her at the altar, but she will try to make you pay for it.
6). After marriage, the woman starts to attempt to reduce your status to that of marital slave. This is where the hardcore abuse starts with serious attempts to make you absolutely dependent on her. The moment you slipped the ring on her finger, she started planning the divorce. The wedding is the first attempt to bankrupt you, followed by constant demands for a bigger and better house you can't afford, new cars, expensive (yet worthless) crap of all makes and descriptions. To add icing on the cake, she will attempt to get pregnant with or without your consent, if you can afford a child or no. This is the stage women start to really let themselves go, but keep trying to cheat on you. Often they no longer care if you find out and being caught as it simply means she gets to fleece you for everything you have.
As you can see, there is a progression. This progression is fairly reliable among different women (stereotypical behavior is a sign of mental illness, BTW). The farther along in the progression you allow yourself to go, the harder it is to deal with and the more important it becomes that you actually deal with it.
The Four Problems with Serial Monogamy
There are four problems with serial monogamy.
1) The woman won’t really be monogamous. Unless you are with her every moment of every day, she will sleep around behind your back, usually with high risk partners. If you ARE with her every moment of every day, she will hit on men in front of your face. This is really an issue of respect. A monogamous lover gets no respect.
2) Monogamy to a woman means she is setting you up for exploitation. Her ability to do that is very limited unless you are married. The pressure to get married will go up exponentially, the longer you are together. It tends to be covert, rather than overt. Very quickly, she will manufacture a reason that she HAS to move in with you. It will be very convincing (ie she will become homeless if you don’t help her). Worse, she will get pregnant on purpose. As far as condoms go, I’m sorry to say you have no choice but to use them 100% of the time and hide them so she can’t poke holes in them. You’ve been warned.
3) Despite the universal push for marriage, the relationship is time limited….several months to a couple of years….WHETHER YOU MARRY HER OR NOT! Being married and/or having children won’t change her sleeping around behind your back, one bit.
4) And most insidious….monogamy is a tool women use to make you dependent on them. As time passes, your seduction skills atrophy. Often, she tries to fatten you up, to make you less attractive…..anything to eliminate your ability to get another woman. She will then ration love, affection and sex, to get what she wants….and use the threat of abandonment to make you give in to the most unreasonable (unreasonable as in, having a boyfriend on the side, unreasonable). Eventually, she will abandon you. The point is, she doesn’t make you dependent because she wants to keep you (indeed, she will soon dispose of you). She does this because she is preparing to abuse you and wants to make it so that if you left, you would never get another woman.
It is a very bad idea to allow any one woman to become too important. Self-sufficiency, ability to choose among partners, and extremely low tolerance for bullshit should be your goals.