Monday 9 March 2015

Don't Argue with Women, Have Power & Choices

Click Pic for "Social Strategy: Why Men Shouldn't Argue with Women"
It is a mistake to argue with women. Arguments are all about words and women in our culture don’t match up words with actions and freely say things that don’t make sense and then deny that they don’t make sense. In short, they aren’t honest when trying to solve problems using discussion, negotiation and compromise. The reason they aren’t honest is because they are trying to be abusive and exploitative rather than having relationships based on mutual love and respect.

Instead, deal with women in the realm of behavior. Point to a behavior you don’t like and tell her to stop, or point out a missing behavior of hers and tell her to do it. Never discuss why you don’t like it or why you want her to do something. Get used to saying the word NO….a lot. And NEVER discuss things in terms of right and wrong (it’s enough that YOU want it). Always have a consequence lined up if she refuses, and ALWAYS come through with that consequence. Flakey girls get dumped, if you get my drift. This only works if you have her replacement waiting in the wings to take her place (your needs, not people’s expectations, are what’s important). Understand that, in our culture, ALL girls are flakey and need to be dumped sooner or later, so don’t hesitate to do so, or let them get away with anything. As this behavior among men becomes common (and it is), women’s flakiness will drop off dramatically.
She's Lying
The problem here is that women lie about anything and everything….often for no reason at all. Most men, not being liars themselves, never consider that other people, particularly their women friends and loved ones, are liars. It takes getting burned, often several times, before a man wakes up to rule number one when dealing with women……don’t listen to anything they say, no matter how minor, because it’s a lie. That’s not enough though. It takes major education and rehabilitation before men even learn about rule number two (let alone, live it)… are the most important person in any relationship with women.

1) Who cares what they say. It’s either a lie or a manipulation and usually both. So don’t listen to it.

2) I am the only important person in my relationships (no matter the type) with women.
Click Pic for "Generalizing in a Politically Correct World"
It’s important to understand the ”woman who is the expception” phenomena. You WILL run into women (probably many women) who seem to not be this way. You will be tempted to break rules 1 and 2. DON’T DO IT! Women are sociopaths….perfect actors. A great many of them are into the whole, “I’m different” thing. They absolutely are NOT. They are the most dangerous because you will think you’ve found the real thing, completely arrange your life, mind and soul around them and then get destroyed. For months or years, you will be so overwhelmingly overjoyed that (unlike all those other losers) you actually have love in your life from a woman who truly cares about you. This is the worst and most insidious of lies and once it is revealed, well, there’s nothing left. Falling for the “woman who is the exception”, is a good way to end up contemplating eating a gun. Don’t do that either. It is possible to have good relationships with women but only if you force it to be on your terms and understand that they are time limited. You enjoy them for as long as they last. Understand that they will be over, probably sooner, rather than later (so you want to leave at the first sign of bad behavior) and you have to constantly engage in behaviors that bring new women into your life.
Everything Out of a Woman's Mouth is a Lie!
Click for "The Suffragettes versus The Truth"
Everything out of a woman’s mouth is a lie…..especially when they want you to talk to them about something. There can be no resolution of problems because there is no transparency, no introspective honesty on their part. What they want, as far as this goes, is to be heard, not to communicate. The act of being heard by another is addictive to them. If you are a good listener and can clamp down on your own need to say stuff, you can manipulate how they see you, and, indirectly, how they treat you. Good treatment comes when a woman sees you as powerful, desirable and very much prone to being stolen by the competition. One thing that has zero effect on how they treat you is talking things out, and working through relationship issues. The reason is simple. While you may be sincere and motivated to have a deep meaningful relationship based on equality, trust and mutual caring, respect, warmth and love…..she NEVER is. She may pretend to but it is an exercise in pain, as she manipulates you into doing one inappropriate thing after another while constantly changing the rules at random. But, take one step outside that door, and see her behavior change instantly. Of course, eventually, she will boot your ass right out that very same door. But she was going to do that eventually, anyway.
Pook #6 – Lesson Three: Judge By Actions, Not By Words
You Cannot Change Women
There are three things you need if you want a lot of women to be attracted to you. The first is you need to be in shape. Not being fat is good but being muscular is better. The second thing you need is the right clothes. What are the right clothes? The clothes that women react positively to you in (as opposed to the clothes you want to be wearing). Want to learn more about the right clothes than you ever wanted to know? Go sign up for one of R Don Steele’s workshops on this. Be polite. Steele isn’t known for tolerating bad behavior….at all. The third thing you need is the right attitude. Whole books can and have been written about this. But, the crux of the issue is you must be completely assertive with a woman, have options and be willing to dump women who engage in bad behavior. Steele is a good source and I highly recommend his books.
Click Pic for "Work With The World; Don't Fight Against It"
However, that being said, you cannot change women, you cannot change women, you CANNOT change women. Your relationship is time limited. There is no way around that. You cannot make decisions about women that contradict that fact. If you do you most certainly will suffer. Your ability to enjoy that time with the woman is strictly dependent on how vigilant you are and how much power you cultivate in relationships. Once your power is gone, it’s gone, and you can’t get it back. If you allow a woman to stay when you have no power over her, she will destroy you (dump any woman you don’t have power over, immediately). How do you know you have no power over her? She feels free to engage in bad behavior. Now all women do this a little bit to test you. The difference is when you call her on it, she laughs in your face instead of stopping. Most men give up their power a few weeks into a relationship. Big mistake.

My point here is: don’t spend too much time worrying about theories with regard to women. Stay focussed on behaviours…..learning and refining what works from what doesn’t. There is a hell of a lot out there that sounds good but is worthless. Pull little bits and pieces and test them out. Keep what works and discard the rest.
No, no, No, NO, NO!!!
Quite obviously all women have become insane. It’s not that they eschew logic (actually, they are quite good at coming up with rationalizations). It’s that they spend the lion’s share of their efforts seeking out insane situations, engaging in insane behaviors and basically destroying themselves and anyone stupid enough to allow them the tiniest bit of say in their lives. The solution is equally obvious……don’t give them even the tiniest bit of say in your life. When I say tiniest, I mean it. No matter what they ask for, no matter how innocuous, you must say no to it. You must never ask them for anything, even the simplest, most smallest thing. If you want something from them you must tell them to give it to you. Although you say it nicely, it must be a command. The very second they say no to you, you need to dump them.
Click Pic for "You're Such a Tool! (Briffault's Law)"
It’s sad to say, but that’s what it takes just to prevent a woman from ruining your life, which she will do 100% of the time if you don’t do this. A woman can and will move on, eventually to find someone who will let them ruin their life for them. Not enough men know about this yet, although many more know about it today than just a few short years ago. Eventually, most men will know it and women will have few to no options for this. They will have to change or do without. It will start with relationships first. Few to no men will get married each year and a great many men will seek wives from outside cultures. Next, these same men will look at women in the work place and ask, "Hey, do these female employees have merit?" You’ll find few women being promoted unless they can do the job. Last to change will be the courts, as more and more, it is discovered that MOST of the female issues in court are based on lies. Most rape cases….lies. Most alimony/child (mommy) support based on lies. It will become very common for courts to assume a woman is lying about certain issues…..especially with regard to non-stranger rape and almost everything with regard to divorce.

However, it all starts with one simple word… No is the magic word that will protect you from women… No, we won’t get married. No, you can’t move in with me. No, I don’t want to meet your parents. No, that kid isn’t mine. No, you can’t have any money. No, I just don’t want a monogamous relationship. No. No. No. No. NO.
The Number One Mistake Most Men Make with Women Is... Talking to Them!
I think you are making the number one mistake that most men make with women. You are talking to them. Trying to have an honest, equal, intelligent conversation with them is like me trying to explain to Pushkin that terrorists, Nazis, and Satan worshipers are bad people…..a fruitless endeavour. The problem is, they’re nuts and most of their mental power is focussed on rationalizing their nutty behavior. They will take every avenue to twist the truth in ways that are amazing to behold, and God forbid you should pin them down and dissect exactly what they are doing…..they hate you forever for it (and just keep on, keeping on). What’s the point?

Quite frankly, if you don’t want something from her (and let’s face it, that means pussy), then you shouldn’t be talking to her. If she shows no interest in giving you what you want in the near future, you should not be talking to her. Now, let’s say you want something from her and she is giving you major signals that she wants to give it to you. You need to talk to her. However, keep in mind two things. First, within reason, the less you talk the better. The more you listen to her, the more a brilliant conversationalist you seem (they are COMPLETELY self-centered and only one subject is a guaranteed hit…..themselves). The less you reveal about yourself the better. Women don’t love you, they love the fantasy of you and all that revealing just bursts their bubble. The second is anything you do say should be completely goal focussed. Think about this. You want something from her. The things you say to her should have the goal of opening the path to her giving it to you. If you are talking about something (rather than inane small talk) or explaining something, you have drifted away from your goal and are fucking up.

When talking to women, there are three things that should be coming out of your mouth. Inane small talk about something unimportant that you are both observing. Open ended questions about her. And various techniques for fostering attraction (for example, David D’Angelo has an excellent series on this). If one of these three things isn’t coming out of your mouth, you are probably explaining something or arguing. Although it’s satisfying to be heard by someone, it is fostering a negative image with her and every other woman observing you with her. You are driving the pussy off with a stick. Sad, but true.
The Problem with Discussing Things with Women
The problem with discussing things with women is their half of the debate is essentially made up on the spot with no basis in reality and subject to change instantly to either prove them right or to support a decision they’ve already made at random. That’s a big difference between men and women. Men use critical thinking to make decisions while women use critical thinking to rationalize decisions they’ve already made. If the decision they made worked, the rationalization tends to be of high quality. If the decision fails (usually, it does) then the quality of the rationalization is intentionally poor, to cover up specific things they did that caused the failure and to avoid taking responsibility and (gasp) change, at all costs. Obviously, you can’t work out things or negotiate with a person who does this and shouldn’t even try. A side effect is they will hate you if you manage to box them in a corner analytically and will disrespect you if you just give up. It’s a lose/lose situation, so why bother? The limit should be……Hey, I’m going out to “fill in the blank”, wanna come? No. Ok…..bye. The bad news is she made that decision at random. So, you can’t change her mind (well, sometimes you can, but it’s degrading and just not worth the effort). The good news is, ask enough women and one will randomly say yes.

This is a far cry from being normal. But it is what it is. Normal would be a woman only considering men she thought were attractive and then getting to know men from that pool until she found one that was compatible, then focussing her attention on that man until love started to develop. Then start a sexual relationship with that man. No woman does that.
Who Cares What Women Are Thinking?
Who cares what a woman may or may not be thinking inside? What matters is their behavior… predictable it is and most importantly, how you can (or cannot) get them to behave. You cannot get them to be honest, not cheat on you or respond positively to virtuous behavior. What you CAN do is get them to treat you nicely in the short term and severely limit the damage they can cause when they inevitably leave.

What’s going on with women is that they are freakin’ psychos. And being insane, it’s impossible to have a sane intimate relationship with them. You can either be forced to have an insane intimate relationship with them or you can have a sane relationship where you keep your distance.

Sad to say but relationships with women in this country are about power, not love. If you give up the former in pursuit of the latter, you will suffer.

However, I agree that one should never blame women for the way they are. Judgement is the first step toward acceptance of responsibility, then forgiveness and redemption. Women just aren’t capable of participating in that. Although men are and always should when necessary.
What Matters is the Amount of Power and Choice You Have in a Relationship
You know, if women really were only looking for a good provider, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I mean, in most cultures it seems that part of what men are expected to provide is security for their wife and family.

The problem comes from the fact that most american woman are stuck in such a negative vibe. They don’t want a nice home, financial security and the best for themselves and their children. What they want is to exploit a man for cash while they screw around with drug dealers. They don’t respect themselves and they certainly don’t respect the provider…….which is why men avoid marriage.

I guess what I am saying is the problem is NOT a misunderstanding of the roles between men and women, miscommunications, needs not being met, whatever (despite what tons of closet homos, like Dr Phil would have you believe). The problem is the quality of the character of the average woman is very, very low.

One, you have no control over that. They will NEVER change, no matter what you do, unless they decide on their own to change for their own reasons (realistically, that just doesn’t happen). The only thing you can do is switch women constantly, making sure each new woman has a character that is better and better. But, since noble character is soooooo rare, it is the quality that gives a woman the most status. In other words, a good woman can demand any type of partner she chooses and get it. Unless you have worked your way up the status ladder, she has no reason to give you the time of day. Much less so than say, a penthouse pet would or an rich heiress like Paris Hilton would.

But two, you have to make damn sure you have the lions share of the power in any relationships you have. Why? Because you will have to constantly control negative behavior from those you are involved with. If you can’t or won’t, it will rapidly escalate into severe abuse. If you allow it to become very advanced, it will result in a marriage, plus kids, and then divorce, personal ruin and despair.

It’s sad to say but you cannot solve this problem by being sane, loving, and nurturing in a relationship. Although that is nice, it is irrelevant. What matters is the amount of power and choice you have. Both niceguys and evil men are harmed by women when they haven’t cultivated power in relationships. And both niceguys and evil men can have success with women, but only if they cultivate power and choice instead of love with women. The difference is the niceguy does it in a positive way. He says says no to all requests and refuses monogamous relationships. Although he cares about women, he is completely detached. The evil man, slaps a woman down when she “gets out of line” and laughs in her face whenever she expresses a desire or need. Everything out of his mouth is a lie or a putdown.

What is horrible is women cannot tell the difference between benevolent detachment and callous indifference. They are both equally attractive to them.
Men Who Sleep on the Couch
This topic is one of the many problems that happens when you allow a woman to weasel her way into living with you (which is part of the point as to why she wanted to). You can’t easily leave. You definitely can’t leave without destroying the relationship. Contrast this with what you could do if you weren’t living together. "Look babe, I’m just not satisfied with your behavior. I’ll be back when you decide to behave. If it happens too many times, I won’t come back."

Not sleeping with her (especially if you are sleeping with someone else) becomes empowering, rather than disempowering. Of course, she can do the same thing, but while your your desirability goes up when you do this, hers goes down. Plus, don’t kid yourself; she is going to do it anyway. Why should you accept the problems inherent in monogamy when she won’t?

My point here is, you lost the fight waaaaay back when you allowed her to move in with you, not when it comes down to her trying to get you to sleep on the couch. Also, if she is doing this, it means your relationship is over. She may hang on (sometimes for quite a bit) but the good times are done and she is looking for your replacement. This is a harsh, complicated thing when living together. But when not living together, it is as simple as erasing her number off your speed dial.
The Value of Men Maintaining Their Own Spaces
I found a great comment by someone called Ray Wolfson while I was reading 5 Ways To Eject From A Relationship over at Return of Kings. He touched on a lot of points that are worth considering and this shouldn't just dwindle away into the abyss of comment land. I like how he talks about how to deal with women's nesting habits in a way that allows for a functional lifestyle - in other words, maintain your own place apart from hers, and then go hang out at her place all the time, where you basically live... but not really, and you have the ability to "get away." Not only does this kind of arrangement take care of those pesky common-law legalities that increasingly seek to enslave men in the same ridiculous manner as modern marriage & divorce, but it also helps to lubricate the relationship by maintaining a bit of mystery. And, of course, you are never under her thumb as her little kitchen bitch. If she starts behaving ridiculously, as all relationships seem to steer towards in time, you have the ability to say "See ya, Toots!" and be done with her in under a day. This ability to stand your ground in the face of irrational behaviour, rather than acting like a servile worm in her house, will only help to maintain a higher level of respect within the relationship.

It wouldn't even have to be a fancy place that you've got. Check out this tiny pad:

It would easily do the trick for me as a get-away/hang-out where I could go to for a while, and as an address separate from a girlfriend to eliminate common-law status, and also as an emergency "landing pad" if ever needed. Think about how much money men lose by being forced into pseudo-marriages through common-law BS. Suddenly owning a little shack somewhere seems like an interesting investment, if it protects your greater assets from the family court system. 

Anyway, here is the comment for you to read:
By Ray Wolfson

I have been in a few long term relationships... it depends on her age and yours and if you and her want kids.

At the end of the day a long term relationship without kids is almost not worth having (plus she'll probably fill your house with horrid lapdogs and cats once she hits menopause)  My father is still bed hopping at 70+ and he says it gets easier because the older gals are much more mellow and accepting, but he does get into relationships that last. It is nice to have a special someone tied down, It's just not nice to be tied up !!!

So you really have to know what you want. If you want to start a family with the girl and go for real long term, then it's a simple equation, one that I have totally screwed up over the last few years, so take it from someone who has learned by mistakes big time.....

Firstly women like to nest, so provide her with that nest. The male turkeys build huge nests and then invite the females in. This has worked great for me with one huge BUT....once the female is in your nest - long term - it's not your nest any more it's HER NEST!

Therefore to maintain independence, status, protect your assets and so forth, (and be able to run a little game on the side) you need to set her up in your nest... make it her nest, but keep somewhere else for yourself (easy if you are self employed like me) then you can come and go as you please with impunity.

If things get tense you disappear for a couple of weeks.....

You have to firewall the asset and the 'family' nest as something you can literally walk away from same day.

This has been my mistake. I love chilling at home and I work from home and I'm always around, so basically way too available I think this is the mistake a lot of men make in LTRs (Long-term Relationships). It's not your home it's HERS. You can set her up in it and then come and go and basically maintain your status like a lover. The best LTR I had was with a girl who had her own place, and that place became like my pad in a sense, but I was always visiting her. She loved it when i arrived, greeted my like the finest 10 at the local brothel. It was fantastic. She wanted her man back in her nest. You see the difference!

Unless you do that, when things get difficult, your comfort, your base, your emotional center, your orientation etc. is all based around your 'home' where you live with her. She starts making that tense and awkward and your whole life falls apart and you feel homeless. You end up like that cliche guy getting a motel room for the night to get some peace. This is stressful disorientating, expensive, unproductive and shitty.

So you create a home with her, set her up long term, prenup, get married... GO FOR IT! But keep your distance and keep her AND your home with her at arm's length. Be able to write it off - then you will never have to!

Women in an LTR get under your skin. They discuss your life and work and business and everything with you. It all seems so harmless and warm, soft, friendly etc... HOWEVER.... when you need some space (or want to bang a hottie on the weekend) the LTR girl is all over you like a rash. She knows your work schedule, your family, your friends. You're like a 14 year old, giving her excuses just to go out for a Saturday night, even if it's just for a beer with some mates from work and nothing is going to happen. Shit i've had a girl in an LTR get jealous because i went for a jog in the forest for an hour on a Tuesday morning.

If you watch the TV show Mad Men, you see how all these guys in the 60s had important careers and stay home wives cooking them meals when they got home etc.etc. and one of the dynamics I loved about that old school LTR is the man's world remains this impressive mystery to the woman.

The same girl I had an LTR with i mentioned above, where we basically lived out of her place but I'd come and go... on our first date I told her I was an arms dealer, smuggling weapons to Africa. Of course she knew this was a joke, but with me coming and going on business, and away for a week here and a week there, it remained very exciting to her.

The mystery of my world, even if I was hell stressed with work... I was doing IT and Telecom setups and travelling alot... it kept her panties wet and I always maintained this aloof mystery. I never discussed my work with her. "DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" My world was a mystery and I came and went as I pleased. She hated it in a way and always nagged me to move in with her properly and finally stonewalled me to break up or move in fully... I called her bluff and split. I could see what was going to happen was I'd move in and she'd slowly get bored of having me around 24/7. The solution was not to break up with her, but carry on the dynamic of keeping her in orbit around me and my world, rather than allowing myself to be dragged into orbiting her rather shrink wrapped world. We could have rented a bigger apartment and put my name on the lease, and then I could have carried on exactly as before, for 10-20 years with kids and the lot. It was that easy... and she would have loved it and hated it.

You see women are never happy because what they love, they also hate. They hate being boned and controlled by this big male... but they also love it. You can never make that happy. You can only keep it just in the sweet spot where you want it to be. THINK ABOUT IT!

Even the most dull unimaginative middle management woman can make an excellent wife, home maker, momma, partner, LTR, work a job, bring in some cash etc. etc... provided you only spend that perfect amount of time with her, so she is amping for more, never quite gets enough of you..... and you don't get bored of her.

I think alot of these LTRs die because the man gets bored to tears. The woman senses his lack of interest and starts pushing him away. Solution? Keep your distance. Analyze how many hours per week can i really spend with this person... halve that number and stick to the program...

It's well known that Christmas and holidays are the time when most family breakups occur. WHY? Because too much time together = stifling, boring, tedious and GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

The earth orbits the sun at the correct distance, the electron orbits the proton at the correct distance. Make her your electron.. Be the proton. Be her sun at the centre of her universe. Don't be her moon manically in orbit around her.

This of course is exactly what happens to the poor schelp like me. I built a lovely home, with all my gadgets, office and so forth, work only a few hours a day, love my place, but she gets fed up with me lurking about all the time, and starts pushing me out. Now I feel like I'm in orbit around my home base whereas if i'd had my home base - my centre of gravity - somewhere else and her installed in "our home," she'd still be in orbit around me.

Ain't gravity a bitch !

When the electron gets too close to the proton it merges and creates a neutron. Oops! Neuter boy and frigid girl. No sex for them tonight. Don't let her get too close to destroy it. The problem with all this equality and so forth is we want to discuss and debate and negotiate everything, so the electron (the female) gets too close.