That First Date at Your Place

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People [sometimes get] a little confused about what I mean by getting a woman over to your place, as if getting her there means you will be having sex. Although that happens a significant portion of the time (i.e. the woman has decided she will sleep with you already if she is coming over to your place), bringing the woman over to your place is only the very opening gambit of the relationship. My point is, until that first date at your place, you aren’t even in the game. And a woman who doesn’t want to come over doesn’t even want to explore the possibility of anything with you…..instead, she is doing something else (that else, usually being something not so nice).

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The date at your place is to establish intimacy, not to have sex. But, you don’t in any way have a relationship until you have sex. Some girls will come over to your place, more than once before the first time. That’s just fine. What isn’t just fine is if there is something seriously wacko with them, causing them to go after you and then hold you in contempt once they think they have you (a large number of women who are “damaged goods” do this……history of rape, child abuse, drug use, etc.). They love you until you try to get close to them and then they hate you and then love you again when you are gone. Get rid of those girls. Typically, you will know who they are because you set everything up, bring her over, she shows strong signs of interest the whole time, you spend time laughing and having fun, sitting close together on the couch and then you smile, reach over to touch her hair, and she says, “What the fuck do you think you are doing”. That woman is playing a game called “rape-o”. Leading men on and then making fun of them when they admit feelings of attraction. They are freaks. The other thing that isn’t OK is when they are trying to get you to initiate something (They NEVER initiate anything) and you miss the signals, let time pass and then it’s time for them to go home. She’ll be pissed and you’ll never see her again.

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The prime thing she is looking for is for you to touch her in some socially appropriate fashion…..usually while looking her deeply in the eyes, laughing at something or emphasisizing a point. She’ll touch you back and it will escalate from there. Good places to touch are on the arm, the back of the hand, the hair, etc. in a non-sexual way. A woman who needs time to feel comfortable with you might start this touching with you but not escalate things until the 2nd, third or more time she comes over. But, if she is over there, she wants to start the process of becoming intimate (and a large number of women want to go through that whole process the first time). If she doesn’t, something is wrong with her (rare, but it does happen). If she ever freaks on you when you didn’t really try anything aggressive or sexual (never do that), then something is REALLY wrong with her and your goal should switch to getting her away from you as quickly as possible.

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The whole point is that things aren’t even close to being the way people are taught in our culture that they are. We are taught that you meet a girl, you talk, get to know her, and then you take her out places to both impress her and give each other a chance to learn more about each other. With time and repeated shared experience, you start to become closer, first friends, and then lovers, and then more. That is absolutely not the way it happens, at all. Instead, what happens is a woman sees you and immediately classifies you into either fuckable or non-fuckable. If you are non-fuckable, she probably doesn’t want to know you at all unless she is forced to for some reason (you belong to the same social group etc.) But, just because you are fuckable doesn’t mean you have any chance with her, no, no, no. About 90% of the time, because of fucked-upness on her part, she is anywhere from completely indifferent to hostile toward you (think about how screwed up that is…..would you ever be indifferent/hostile toward a woman who you found attractive in personality and body). About 10% of the time, she is friendly. With time and effort, you could probably convince her to start the process of becoming intimate, and if successful, you can have a relationship of some sort. About 1% of the time, she needs no convincing, or effort, and is, instead, highly motivated to become intimate with you. This means she will respond favourably every time you initiate each step, not that she will initiate anything herself, BTW. Fuckable vs non-fuckable is a matter of your attractiveness, position and personal power relative to hers. What percentage she is in willingness to be with you, providing you are fuckable, mostly at random.

Click Pic for "No Woman is 'Out of Your League'"

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This has some implications for what men should be doing. First, you should try to be fuckable. Don’t be obese. Shower. Have a job. Wear reasonable clothes. The higher up the social scale you want, the higher up the social scale you need to make yourself……wear better clothes, work out at the gym, make money, learn how to wield power, influence and charisma among your peers. Most normal men are perfectly fuckable for most normal women (despite their lies).

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Next, you need to absolutely refuse to give the time of day to any woman who finds you unfuckable. Seriously, they think you are scum and anyone who thinks you are scum, doesn’t deserve a single thing from you. If you are non-fuckable from some normal woman’s perception, unless you are like, retarded, with bad BO and a wooden leg, something is wrong with her and not you.

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The next thing you do and what is probably the absolute minimum effort is to identify which women are in the ten percent category. Only spend time on these girls. Be nice to them. Spend time getting to know them. Only consider inviting women from this pool over to your place. It is really an invitation to develop a relationship with you and it is OK to say no (again, this is mostly random, having nothing to do with you and everything to do with her). Convincing her to come over is not your goal. Discovering if she is ready to accept your invitation is your goal.

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But, my personal opinion is that it is much more fruitful to try and find the 1% of women who are eager to be with you than to try and woo the other 9%. In other words, the the ability to select is the technique that gives you the biggest bang for your buck, so to speak.

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How you relate to a woman or try to impress her or try to convince her or try to develop your relationship with her, are all completely irrelevant when it comes to the reality of being with women. Instead, they make snap judgements, at random, as to if they want you or not, and how much. If a woman doesn’t want you, so what? Because she is nuts, it has nothing to do with you (but, also, don’t ignore the fact that if she DOES want you it also has nothing to do with you….part of the reason your relationship and you are disposable). Plan accordingly. And don’t be afraid to do things sooner rather than later. From her point of view (despite what she tells you and herself to deny that she is an easy whorish woman….which she most definitely is) the relationship happens all at once, not developed over time. Our culture lies to us about this because it lies to us about the truth of women. They are sick and in deep denial about being sick. It’s important for men to understand specifically about the many facets of that sickness and compensate for it….or it will cause problems for us, not the least of which is failure with women.
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Also, because women are sick they have a particularly obnoxious mode to look out for……..being extremely attracted to evil men who are the scum of the earth. We’ve all seen this. The hotter/younger/more desirable the woman, the more likely she will be in this mode at any one time. While in it, she will only consider bring with the absolute worst men….drug dealers, criminal scum, frat boys, and other people who feel free to exist because society is too deluded to give them the regular, vicious beatings they so richly deserve. When a woman is like this, she has no interest in you and is engaging in completely self-destructive behavior.

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There are three reasons I mention this. The first is, of course, women hang out at certain specific places/situations when they are like this (ie all the women there will be like this). This is an excellent reason to avoid clubs and other places gang members hang out, like the plague. None of the women there have any interest in you. The second is that some women are more prone to this mode than others and this is one of the major ways your relationship will end. You will find out she has lost interest in you for Bubba, the 100lb overweight cocaine dealer that just got out of jail. Your response should be to immediately and permanently get rid of her at that point. It has nothing to do with you, everything to do with her and part of that sickness is trying to cause harm to you in one way or another. You can do nothing for her but, for yourself you can get rid of her. The last reason I bring it up is some of us (myself included) have daughters, sisters, nieces, sometimes mothers etc. who WILL enter this mode from time to time. Do everyone a BIG favour and keep your family member locked up during that time and put a bullet in the head of any scum that comes sniffing around. As the men in the family, this is your responsibility, and if you shirk it, you will deeply, deeply regret it. However, society is sick about this issue and will punish you harshly if you get caught…..so, don’t get caught.

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Man, this thing is like a book, but only because there is so much to know and one thing leads to and feeds off another. As they say though, knowledge is power. Wouldn’t it be much simpler if women took responsibility for being normal, healthy, mature individuals and developing sane, enduring, loving relationships?
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She Expects It To Be This Way Or She Won't Respond To You!
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The issue isn’t if you want to be a player. I’m no player and I think men who are players are pussies. The issue is what will the woman demand of you. Make no mistake, she expects you to do it this way or she won’t respond to you. Her attitude is you must be ready to go when she wants and not before, and you are to fuck off the other 99% of the time (she will actually say this to you……fuck off). That’s her attitude. I didn’t make things that way. I don’t particularly want things to be that way. I have zero control over her being that way. She Chooses It. Not Me. I have two choices, accommodate her or do without. I choose to accommodate her. Note, that she absolutely won’t say things to this effect. She won’t TELL me these things. She’ll expect me just to know them. Disrespect is what she will give me if I don’t know or if I say no to this way of doing things.

So, what does the woman want me to do? Two things: The first is to read her mind and know when she is ready (and to fuck off if she isn’t). Wonderful. What a fucked up thing to want. This means I need to have ways to know

"I'd like some toasted ice, please"

what’s on her mind but I can’t actually ask her. The second thing she wants is she wants me to fish for her, not to hunt for her. What I mean by this, is she wants me to set the stage for her and act enticing, but never to go after her and never be aggressive. So, I must initiate everything but I can’t in any way be pushy. Great. This is also fucked up in now I must set up things so that stuff can happen but it has to seem like an accident and I have to initiate things but constantly monitor her to make sure she is actually the one who chooses when we move from one step to another, even though I am the one actually doing the behavior and God, help me if I get it wrong or miss a cue.

Click Pic for "You Mean Nothing to a Woman Until You've Had Sex"

It really is only productive to have dates at your home because only here can you properly set the stage to make things happen. Initial dates are usually outside the home and only have the goal of making her comfortable enough with you so you can have the real date, which is at your home (ie, until that date at your home, any relationship you have with the woman is meaningless to her….it means zero, zip, nada, not a damn thing to her). Actually, until you fuck her for the first time, you don’t have a relationship. You mean nothing to her until then and are barely a step up from some stranger she has met on the street…..even if you’ve known her for 20 years (I have learned this the HARD way….over and over and over again).

Once you have the date alone, at your house, that’s when the building of your relationship can begin, and not before. If she is there, at all, she is there for that reason, and, often, having sex for the first time is on her mind, as the starting point. Will she say that or own up to that if asked? Nope. Will she act that way? You bet your ass she will.

What a woman wants. What she will demand of you and punish you harshly if you refuse to provide it, is a chance to be alone with you, in an intimate, romantic setting, where you can spend time together, preferably doing something together and pretend that things just sort of happened.

Click Pic for "Women as 'Friends'"

Should you be pushing for this to happen? Absolutely not. Should you set the stage and invite her to spend that time with you? You must….or she will get rid of you. When should you do this? After you have established that you are 1) safe, and 2) interesting. What does it mean if you’ve done all that and she says no? It means you have no chance with her, never did, and never will. Be VERY suspicious of any woman who wants you to take her out places and do things for her but isn’t getting intimate sooner rather than later. The whole point of dating is to quickly get to that first date back at your place. If she isn’t doing that, she isn’t with you for the reason you think she is.

Now, if you have a female “friend”, what this usually means is she is romantically interested in you but doesn’t think enough of you to make you a lover, so she keeps you in reserve for years, until she hits a dry spell. This is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because, often, if you set the stage correctly, she will make the transition from “friend” to lover with very little effort. But, it’s also a curse in that she has very little respect for you. As long as you focus on setting the stage for her and make it seem like it was her idea, she’ll probably have sex with you. But, expect all sorts of wild, wacky behavior afterward, followed by being dumped after maybe 2 or 3 months of wild sex. After this happens a few times, you will realize that these women are not your friends and never were.
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If You Don't Have Sex on the First Date, Your Chances of Having Sex with Her At All are Slim
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If you don’t have sex with a woman on the first date, your chances of having sex with her at all are slim. The other side of that coin is, if you have sex with a woman you almost always can have sex with her multiple times in the future. Your goal on a “date” is not to impress a woman with endless blather but to make an excuse for her to come back to your place where you can seduce her. MOST of the time, if you aren’t totally wasting your time with a girl, she will come back to your place under the slimmest of excuses. She is going back there for sex. If she balks, makes a weird excuse etc., you might as well get rid of her (your not getting any, probably ever). The excuse needs to be reputable (so she can pretend she didn’t actually go back to your place for sex…..women are ummmm, nuts). "Hey, come back to my place so we can watch this chick flick on my DVD," is good. "Come and see the A-frame I built next to my bed," is not.

This is one of the many lies women tell. They SAY, they want to get to know a man and generate a certain amount of closeness, before engaging in a physical relationship. But what they DO is is decide within seconds of seeing you if they will have sex with you. The invitation lasts from seconds to several hours, and often has absolutely nothing to do with you (ie, she feels like a slut at that moment in time, and you are acceptable). That’s not normal. It’s not a good thing. But, it’s the way things are.
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