Monday 9 March 2015

Living in La-La-Land

I think that the basic problem is that most women here are only interested in the fantasy of living life and not the reality of it. Only what is going on in their heads matters to them, not what is actually going on outside in the real world. Any time there is a conflict between the two, they treat what's in their head as true rather than what's outside. That's the very definition of a crazy person. A big problem with that is what goes on in your head is transitory and ephemeral. It disappears as soon as you daydream about something else.

However, the behavior women do based on this have very real and permanent consequences.

For example, if you have some fantasy about being in love with a guy, marry him and then have kids, but 10 years later you lose interest in that fantasy, the consequences of that are rather harsh. And women never seem to realize what is at the root of their problems. They tend to blame the problems on men. Blah, blah, blah... I don't love you anymore because you are boring, unromantic and a whole bunch of other things that are thinly veiled bullshit with no basis in reality. The truth is they were never in love in the first place. Love has to do with what you do outside in the real world... your behavior and what you build with it. It has nothing to do with what is going on in your head, even though what is going on in your head may be fun and exciting.

I think a pretty basic thing every man needs to pay attention to when in any relationship is how much does the woman's behavior match up with what she is saying. She says "I love you", but does she act in a loving manner? Does she do things that are incompatible with a person who loves you? Most importantly, does she work toward long term goals based on nurturing a love relationship that is permanent, or is she just along for the ride. Very few women act in any way except just enjoying the moment. What that means is, your behavior and the decisions you make with regard to her should be based on that. I think it is inappropriate to be monogamous with someone who is just having fun times with you. Certainly it is not a good idea live with themmarry them and God forbid, have children with them. Those things absolutely require certain continuous and extended behaviours that the woman (and men and women are absolutely different in this regard) is just not interested in.

To put it another way: American men make the best husbands on the planet. But, American women make the worst wives.

Everyone except Americans seems to know it, too.
Women Don't Hate Men, But Don't Love Them Either
Click Pic for "You're Such a Tool!"
Outside of the psychos, my experience has been that women don’t hate men (any woman who hates men is a pariah….and knows it). The problem is that they don’t love them either. They feel, and are often addicted to, the strong emotions and temporary states of love. But they never build the shared purpose, evolution, growth and bonding that goes along with love. That’s the part that endures and builds over time. That’s the part that is real. The moment they don’t get their “fix” of strong emotions, they’re gone. That’s a problem because you absolutely cannot have a marriage or even a monogamous relationship under those circumstances. You can never go beyond just dating without it turning into a disaster. To make matters worse, the man is usually building all those things from his point of view. When she leaves, she rips an important piece of his psyche out. Many men don’t recover. And many women die on the vine, some time after their 30′s, from lack of real love (not just the emotion) in their lives.

There are large numbers of women who are in marriages and other relationships that and are just empty shells of suffereing and don’t know why. This is why.
“Women have no sympathy… and my experience of women is almost as large as Europe. And it is so intimate too. Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving you any in return for they cannot remember your affairs long enough to do so." – Florence Nightingale
Women Want Strong Emotions, But Don't Care If Those Emotions Are Negative
Click Pic for "Woman: The Most Responsible Teenager in the House?"
QUOTE: "In my case it wasn’t just “pussy” that kept me around, I deeply loved my girlfriend and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And she talked like she wanted that too. But she didn’t want to cooperate and work with me towards that goal, she just wanted to keep testing me and pushing the envelope to see what she could get away with. She would intentionally do things that she knew I would find upsetting just so she could get me upset. Stupid things, like keeping the radio or TV on loud all night."

This is a perfect example of what I am talking about. She wants the strong emotions and doesn’t care that the particular emotions she gets are negative (anger, fear, jealousy pain etc.) Worse, there really is no relationship as far as she is concerned (it doesn’t matter that you have built a relationship and think you two are in love). You could (and usually are) married for 20 years with 4 kids, and she walks away without a second thought. That’s because it was all pretend for her.  And the consequences don’t matter to her.

What this means, quite simply, is there is no way in hell you can be monogamous with her. No matter your situation. No matter what you have been to eachother, what’s REALLY going on is she has never moved past the initial stages of infatuation. Your “relationship” doesn’t exist and she will disrespect you if you think it does. She will do a hell of a lot more, if you are stupid enough to marry her and/or have kids.
Could She Just Walk Out of Your Life?
Could? Will is more like it. She WILL walk out of your life without remorse. This is a concept you absolutely must understand when dealing with western women. She WILL walk out of your life without remorse AND, depending on how embedded she was in your life, cause varying levels of problems WHEN she leaves AND, depending on how fucked up she is, try to harm you and/or any children you have together, up to the limit you allow her to.

You cannot ignore the implications of this when you decide what type of relationship to have with a woman. Choose wisely and in such a way that it limits the mischief she causes. Or else…..

Also, when she is with you, she is in no way limiting herself just to you. Another thing to know about before deciding if monogamy (a scam) is for you. You never know about it, but she is actively looking for other men the entire time she is with you and goes through a string of men (whether you are married, living together or just dating), the entire time you know her. You can’t let her know you know because she will just deny it and step up her search for your replacement. The moment she finds one, you’re gone.

Lastly, the moment a woman “has you”, she no longer wants you and will stop trying. The moment you accept the monogamous relationship, the bad behavior starts and she will soon be gone. You can’t keep her. But, you can make her stay around longer by making her compete.

So, should you cheat on her? No, that’s something a pussy whipped man, who is unworthy of respect, does. The only thing that will earn bad behavior more than monogamy is lying about monogamy. Do you lay down the law and say, look bitch; I just want pussy from you? Maybe. That works, but only with the most fucked up women. These women are into finding new and interesting ways to make themselves and you suffer…..avoid them. The best way to do this is to never allow the monogamous relationship to form in the first place. You must rigidly control how fast and how deep the relationship develops. You must set limits. You must say no to everything she asks for. And you must severely limit the time you spend with any particular woman (once every two weeks is a good rule of thumb). Make the time you spend with her, intense, but limited (ie valuable). She will inevitably ask why. The answer should always be vague, never defensive, and always some version of, I’m a busy man with a limited amount of time. Never allow her to think you are monogamous with her or that the relationship is getting serious but don’t rub her face in the fact that you see other women (nobody’s business but yours). Don’t allow her to make you accountable for time you spend away from her. Don’t let her leave shit at your apartment. And, whatever you do, don’t stop your behaviors designed to meet new women. In fact, since you have a woman, it’s a good time to step up those behaviors because this magically makes you much more attractive to women in general (and the effect is cumulative).
It's Very Difficult to Come to Terms with How Fast an Important Relationship Evaporates
(Re: A man with a psychotic wife)

It’s very difficult to come to terms with how quickly an important relationship (important to you, not to her) evaporates. It’s happened to me. It’s happened to a lot of guys here. All I can say is there is a hell of a lot more going on with women, particularly women like this, than meets the eye. Much of it is intentional deception on their part, much of it is psychotic behavior (literally in this case, with a diagnosis like bipolar). Because of this, and because of certain patterns of behavior that go along with this, it just isn’t safe for you to still have her in your life. You need to train yourself to discount what women say and watch for patterns in what they do. In this case, she is telling you certain things but I think you should protect yourself from certain behaviours she is likely to engage in. What she says and what she does probably won’t match up. I think you should divorce her as quickly and cleanly as possible, take extreme measures to make sure she never again darkens your doorstep (and she probably will try to) and examine the many warning signs this one showed you to prevent all the others (and there will be others) just like her from coming into your life.

The point I’m trying to make is there are several major patterns you see again and again with women, relationships and divorce. The patterns are repeating and pretty reliable from relationship to relationship. Yours is one of them… of the more extreme and disturbing ones. Unfortunately, there are some dangerous behaviours that go along with this particular pattern that I think you should look out for.

One thing I am a BIG advocate of is men identifying women like this as early as possible and getting rid of them. There is no hope of making things work because the other person is just broken and can’t be fixed. If you try, you will be hurt, maybe even killed (I’m not exaggerating with that). Marrying them is one of the worst mistakes a man can make in life and if a man wakes up one day and finds himself in such a bad situation, he needs to be aware of what could happen (hell, what is likely to happen) and extricate himself carefully and in a protected way.

The first step is knowing what is going on. Groups like this can help, but what you really need is a support group of divorced men (men only!) to compare notes with and talk about these issues. I think you will be shocked at the similarity you would have with other guys going through the same thing. Similarity in behaviours from the women, similarity in ways of thinking, and similarity in what happens. But, there is also similarity in ways you can deal with these things too.
Click Pic for the Free Online Book, "The Predatory Female"
The Predatory Female
I’d like to share a section from the book, The Predatory Female, by Rev. Lawrence Shannon, that might explain better what’s going on. This sort of thing with women is extremely common (it happened to me, only much worse, lol)

Love Gap

Q. I lived with a girl for over a year, but when I refused to marry her, she broke off our affair and moved out. Within two weeks she was married to another man. I saw her recently and she behaved like a stranger, despite having professed undying love only three months previously. How do you explain such radical changes?

A. There were no changes. She never cared about you in the first place, but you have been blind to it by failing to grasp the nature of the predatory female. You loved her but she didn’t love you. She is incapable of loving anyone, including her new husband. A predatory female never loves anyone but herself [note: my personal belief is she never loves anyone, ever, especially herself.....that's the real source of the problem.] Using sex to lure men into loving her, she can only pretend at loving them back. This is natural, involuntary behaviour for the predatory female. She feeds them sex, fusses over them, makes them feel loved, but it’s only an act. It’s the chameleon syndrome in full bloom. [Note: chameleon syndrome is described elsewhere in the book.....women are able to take on whatever character traits and behaviours make them seem the most attractive to an pending victim] She uses their love, or infatuation, to manipulate and control, stinging them like the wasp on a spider’s back, until they are incapable of rational thought where she is concerned. The predatory female never becomes emotionally involved in the same way a male does. Her emotional involvement is strictly contingent upon her degree of success in bringing the male crashing to earth. It is not a conscious deceit, but an unconscious one. When, as in your case, she fails to trap him permanently [or chooses not to], she can easily leave because her involvement was only temporal. This is one of the toughest axioms for men to accept: Predatory females flatly don’t care. The person deserving the sympathy is the poor unfortunate who married her. He has volunteered to become the host body for this parasite, and serves as another proof that slavery is the natural state of man.

Q. I just can’t believe that women don’t really ever love men, at least in the same way men love them.

A. The predatory female herself is sometimes fooled in this regard. She can be victimized by her own predatory nature, especially if she’s young. But the experienced ones know better. They’re counting on your inability to understand or accept it. They know your male ego will side with them. If your girlfriend sincerely believes she loves you, be sympathetic, be understanding. She doesn’t know herself yet. But don’t let her immaturity bring havoc into your life.
Men Harmed By Relationships More Than Women